January 18, 2016

“Hi, Ella! I give you kisses!” This video is from last year as we were inpatient for Ella’s last of three bone marrow transplants. I bought her this Minnie Mouse balloon and she walked around the unit with it. She was giving her kisses (this child was nothing but sugar).I haven’t posted in a while as I am at a loss for words. This is strange for me (as those that know me, I am never at a loss for words). Sarah and I still have our good days and bad days. We still mourn our loss and cry at random times. I’ve found that my tears fall easier than ever before. This hasn’t gotten easier and we don’t expect it to. 

Despite our sadness over Ella’s death, we have found that 2016 has started with many blessings. As hinted before in a previous post, I have started a new job. As of last week, I am now the Clinical Nurse Manager for our float pool at Saint Luke’s Hospital at the Plaza. Yes, it is a promotion. It also allows me to be home for dinner (which Sarah loves). Working five days a week is weird for me and is going to take some time to get used to again. Sarah didn’t like that I would leave home before she woke up and returned home after 8pm. Those days were hard, I know. Hopefully, this will be a great adjustment and she won’t get sick of me. 

So….new job! It’s a lot of responsibility and I am excited! 

We have more goodness on the horizon and we are so excited for the new year! Sarah and I picture Ella standing at Jesus’ feet and bugging him to bless us. I can tell you that Ella is definitely watching over us. There are times when we are talking about Ella, get into the car, and one of her favorite songs comes on. She has her ways of saying that she is with us and it makes us laugh/smile each time. 2015 was a very rough year. It was full of good and bad, ups and downs. Ella obtained remission, relapsed, and then passed away last year. She fought so hard, the whole time. She is the strongest person that I know. Ella is my inspiration and my hero!!!

2016 is off to a great start and we pray to Ella to watch over us and keep it great. 

Please continue to pray for those touched by cancer. We have been made aware of multiple new cancer diagnoses here in the KC area. We are devastated with each one and can only imagine what these kids and their families are feeling. These kids deserve more than 4%!!! As our lives move on, multiple families are feeling frustration, sadness, and the worst….fear. Please pray for these families. Please pray for Joe, Malina, Jonah, Brysin, Wyatt, Parker, Kit, Kennedy, Stryker, Noah, Jeremiah, Millie, Blake, Tyler, Braden, Dalton, Brooklynn, Jonny, Chad and their families! Thank you and God bless! Saint Ella, pray for us!

December 30, 2015

December 31, 2014…my favorite New Years ever! Ella was such a funny girl. She stayed in the bath for such a long time and she kept asking for more soap and then proceeded to wash over and over. Ella was very smart in that she would watch how you do things and then do them herself (ie. rubbing her hands together to get aquick lather). Sarah and I miss her terribly, but we continue to learn how she has changed lives. I recently spoke to someone that explained how their life has completely changed because of Ella. This person has made changes to their diet, started exercising (to be more healthy and to feel better about themselves), gotten smarter with their money (making better more thoughtful decisions), and also focusing more on family and friends. There are more changes that have been made, but these examples get the point across. This person even mentioned that these changes are due to Ella losing so much of her time on earth. If she can’t live it, then they want to live smarter and in honor of Ella. This person has a new motto of “Live life like Ella.” I am in such awe of this person and am so truly happy for them. This humbles me so much as I am Ella’s father and I know how I feel about her, but others feel very much the same as I. Ella has and continues to change lives, for the better. I’ve even made multiple changes to my life and want to live healthier and smarter too (for my family and in honor of Ella). Sometimes I think about things and wonder if Ella would be disappointed in me for saying or doing it, and then, I make my decision. It doesn’t always happen, but I’m consciously making an effort to do it more often. It makes Sarah and I so happy to see others happy (and even more so, when Ella is a factor in someone’s happiness). 

2016 is bound to be a good year. 2015 had some great memories, but will forever be overshadowed by our great loss. Ella has changed our lives (and many others) and she continues to do so (and hope she always will). Many great and new things are coming our way in 2016. Sarah and I feel that God and Ella are doing their best to heal us and 2016 is hopefully just a start. 

Please continue to pray for Ella’s friends and their families including Joe, Malina, Jonah, Brysin, Noah, Kit, Camille, Brooklynn, Wyatt, Eva, Jonny, Chad, Avery, Rachel, and all those not mentioned. Please continue to spread awareness for these children and families touched by cancer. 

Please add a special prayer for baby Cora Schroerlucke. Cora is the daughter of a former coworker and a huge supporter of Ella. Cora is fighting RSV (the common cold for adults, but potentially deadly virus for infants). Cora is doing well, but is still in the ICU in Detroit. Please pray that she fully recovers and is able to return home soon with her family. Our prayers are with you Cora and I’m sure Ella is right by your side (Ella loves babies).  

Thank you everyone. We love you all. God bless! Saint Ella, pray for us!

Have a Happy New Year!!!

December 25, 2015

Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday Jesus!!! I’m sure that Jesus is having the best birthday party ever, as there are some extremely special and beautiful angels in attendance. Hug your loved ones close and pray for all those with Him and their families as well! God bless! Saint Ella, pray for us!
All photos are from Christmas last year. Love seeing the surprise, happiness, and love that Ella had for her presents. She didn’t care to open them, but once she did, she really loved each one. She never wanted to move to the next gift because she really appreciated the one in front of her. I strive to be as grateful as my beautiful angel! She’s taught me so much.

   
    
    
    
   

December 22, 2015

 Today, Sarah and I visited 4 Henson/Hall (this is the floor that Ella received her treatment at Children’s Mercy Hospital). Last year, Ella was admitted for almost the entire month of December for her second of three bone marrow transplants. Pictures included here show Ella in her most positive light during that admission and the one previous. She played in the hallways, relaxed in her room, and even received mail (when you spend as much time as Ella did there, you definitely start to receive mail). Sarah and I were nervous to return to the hospital, but we realized that Ella had a lot of great memories there. Ella never wanted to go to the hospital, but after a day or two, she would dominate the hallways and almost enjoy her time there. We basically watched Ella grow up while in the hospital. We would do laps, play hide-and-seek, play in the playroom, etc. Today, we got to see most of the people that we and Ella came to love. We saw our favorite Nurses, Nursing Assistants, Child Life, Nurse Practioners, Doctors, and even our favorite volunteer. We shared warm hugs and happy memories. It was an important step for Sarah and I. We really felt the love that everyone had for our sweet girl. We really appreciate everyone that cared for her during her journey. Looking at pictures, Ella almost always wore a smile and that makes us smile. Cancer and the treatment that goes along with it is really horrible, but everyone on 4 Henson/Hall made us feel comfortable and cared for. The staff even let Ella behind the desk at the nurses station and let her hang out with them. On one admission, Ella even received her own ID badge (just like the nurses). Ella loved the staff and so do we. Sarah and I are glad we made the trip (though hard) and really hope to return more regularly. No one wants to end up admitted to the hospital, but if you do, just hope that there are people like that to take care of you.  

Sarah and I will spend Christmas and New Years here in Kansas City with Sarah’s family. We hope you all have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. 

God Bless! Saint Ella, pray for us!